Never More
by Anawey
Summary: The Agni Kai, through the eyes of the prince.


Never More

The Agni Kai through the eyes of the prince.

Disclaimer; Avatar and anything to do with it does not belong to me.

XxX

I knelt at one end of the arena, calm and unafraid. I knew how it would go; We would be told to turn, and there would be the old man, and I'd smirk to myself and let him make the first move, because he'd need that little bit of confidence when this was done. Make Father mad at me over that stupid plan of his, will he? No. After Father sees how well I fight, today, he'll be so proud of me. Finally, he'll smile at me, and tell me how I am an irreplaceable asset to the nation, just like Azula. Who knows, maybe she'll stop hating me, too, after tonight.

_What if I lose? _

The thought doesn't worry me that much. I'm the _prince, _for Agni's sake. I know I'll win. And Father will love me. And he'll finally see that I am loyal only to him. That I never meant to be disrespectful; I only wanted to save those soldiers. Some of them are barely older than I am.

The gong sounds, and, smirking, I turn and stand, ready to fight. Looking to the other end, I can see the shadowed figure of my oponent. Funny, I don't remember that old general being so tall... or so muscular...

My blood freezes, and time slows to a halt. Suddenly, I can't breathe, as realization sets in. This can't happen. I can't do this. I can't fight _my_ _Father. _Surely this is a mistake. How can I prove myself if I must fight him? I can't. I _won't. _If I win, he'll only be mad at me, and never forgive me. If I lose, he could disown or _banish _me! This _can't_ be happening. I close my eyes for a moment. Maybe Father's just here to say some sort of opening words.

When I open my eyes again, he's still walking forward, looking at me expectantly. My knees buckle, and I fall into a low bow. I won't fight him.

"Prince Zuko," he snarls, a deep, dangerous warning in his voice. I cringe. Have I made him madder by choosing not to fight? But I _can't _fight him. I can't even try to hurt my father. He's my father.

"Please, Father," I implore. He hast to understand I meant him no wrong. "I only had the Fire Nation's best interest at heart. I'm sorry I spoke out of turn."

I am sorry. I don't know why I acted the way I did. Uncle had warned me not to speak.

"You _will _fight for your honor!" Father demands. But I can't. Even as he approaches me, glaring down, I can't do it.

"I meant you no disrespect," I whisper, trying to keep the tears in my eyes from falling. I have no more delusions now; this won't end well for me. I can't, _won't _fight my own father. I love him, after all. "I am your loyal son."

"Rise and _fight, _Prince Zuko!"

"I won't fight you." Even to me, my voice sounds pitiful and pathetic. It was not my hope in the begining to get out of this on pitty. But if I must, I will beg at Father's feet for him to forgive me; to love me. But my hope for that is quickly fading, though I can't understand why.

"You _will _learn respect," Father hisses. Why doesn't he understand? I will not fight him. My loyalty is to my father. I can't hurt him. I won't. I love him. Father, don't you love me? I look up as he continues speaking. "And _suffering _will be your teacher."

No. This can't happen. I can feel the tears on my cheeks. Why is this happening to me? What did I do wrong? I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, Uncle. Please help me Uncle. I look for him, but the moment I find him, he turns away. What have I done to make him ashamed of me? Why won't he look at me? _What did I do? _

Sudden, searing heat and pain crashes into my face, and I can't help but scream. For a moment, there's no ground beneath me, and I'm suspended in air and pain. I can hear a distant voice shouting, then the ground is behind me again, and I'm slamming down onto the floor. Black spots dance in my vision, my head hits the ground so hard. Right before I black out completely, I can hear someone running forward, and then I'm in strong, caring arms. Maybe Father has realized his mistake. Maybe he's realized he _does _love me after all.

But no. Just before full blindness sets in, I can see him glaring coldly, and his voice is just as frigid and harsh when he speaks.

"You are a _disgrace _to the Fire Nation."

Father's words cut deep. He doesn't mean it, surely. I - I'm his _son. _Father, please, don't turn me away. I love you. Don't you love me?

"Ozai, please."

It's Uncle. He came to me when I needed someone. My uncle. His voice is soft, but filled with underlying hatred.

"He's your _son_!"

_He's no son of mine. _I can hear it in the silence. But surely I am wrong. Father _must _love me. How can he not? What have I done to deserve his hatred and anger? Nothing I remember. Then I'm being lifted. It hurts, and I can't help the quiet whimper.

"Easy, Nephew," Uncle whispers, trying to comfort me, I suppose. But knowing that my father hates me... That hurts the worst. What have I done wrong? Why don't you love me, Father?

"Uncle," I gasp. I've never felt this weak and tired. What did Father do? Why can't I ask Uncle if Father really does love me? Surely Uncle would know - he _always _knows.

Blackness fills my vision and my thoughts fade away. The last thing I hear is Uncle's voice, gentle and soft, telling me to hold on, that everything will be okay. But how, Uncle? How can things be alright when Father doesn't love me and I have nothing to hold on to? Why did this happen, Uncle? What have I done so wrong? At least you love me, right? And you'll help me convince Father that I'm worthy of his love, too, won't you? You'll help me make him see. Everything fades, and I can't help but wonder; What if Father doesn't _want _to love me?

XxX  
Yeah, this was inspired by a video on youtube between Zuko Iroh and Ozai with the song 'I Love You This Much'. I cried the first time I watched it, because it really fit well. The music was so matched to the pictures and clips that it felt as though that was what was really happening. Anyway, I hope you guys like this. Review please.


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